My kung fu is dope yo!

I want to get that tattooed on the back of my neck. It would either be a great conversation starter at a social event or an opportunity to get my ass handed to me by Chuck Norris. I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure then huh?

Earlier this morning up in the guard tower, i watched some dude wipeout on his bike during typical Iraqi rush-hour traffic. I roflmao’ed for a good 10 minutes till i nearly shit myself with the effort of trying to contain it and maintain my military bearing but failed miserably. I couldn’t help it. He looked okay though for a dude who just wrecked his motorcycle albeit a little banged up and extremely embarassed. After i painfully managed to regain some composure, i had to order him in broken Arabic to move his broke motorcycle further down the road away from the front of our outpost because he couldn’t be parked on the shoulder. No civilian vehicle was allowed to for any reason, lest they want to get shot at by U.S Army grunts manning the guard towers. We protect our crib fiercely homey! Werd. Anyway, he did not at all look happy with me and gave me the crazy eye while animatedly waving his hands about in clear frustration at my order all the while cussing me out in rapid Arabic, which made me bust out lol’ing again. I did feel a slight twinge of guilt for being an asshole to the poor guy as i watched him painfully limp away while pushing his wrecked motorcycle along. Ok, maybe not but that’s okay. Karma is a painful bitch and i will get what’s coming in due course. Till then i can relive the hilarious moment in my head and go to bed tonight satisfied that i can still proudly say, “i’ve never wiped out on a motorcycle in Iraq during rush hour traffic right infront of an American outpost before.” That and “Chuck Norris doesn’t want to fight me because my kung fu is dope yo!“

- Jay

October 23, 2008 | Filed Under General, Iraq, Random 

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