Happy Halloween freaks!

Hope you all have a pretty scare-tastic halloween!

- Jay

October 31, 2008 | Filed Under General | Leave a Comment 

Know…

Know yourself…
Know your equipment, tools and weapons used in performing your job… Maintain them…
Know where you are… What your surroundings are… At all times…
Know the job that is expected of you as well as it can be known…
Know those who supervise you and what to expect from them…
Know your adversary…
Know yourself…

D. R. (Don) Staton, Chaplain to Peace Keepers
BlackWater USA

October 27, 2008 | Filed Under Random | Leave a Comment 

Twitter a terrorist tool - U.S Army

A draft U.S Army intelligence report has identified the popular micro-blogging service Twitter, Global Positioning System maps and voice-changing software as potential terrorist tools.

The report by the 304th Military Intelligence Battalion, posted on the website of the Federation of American Scientists (FAS), examines a number of mobile and web technologies and their potential uses by militants. Read more…

What is this Twitter i keep hearing so much about? I’ve been reading about it everywhere ever since i got back into blogging. There has to be at least one mention of it in a posting at one of the random blogs i troll through daily. Seems like everybody and their mother’s a Tweet… Twitter? Twit? Twat? Whatever it is members call themselves. I’m seriously considering becoming a member just to see what all the hub-bub’s about. I wonder how long its been around for? I’m surprised i haven’t heard of it yet since i’m usually ontop of new social networking sites and have more profiles on various networking sites than i can remember. There’s a small voice though, at the back of my head telling me i should find something better to do with my time than waste precious hours exploring the Twitter realm; like perhaps finishing off Soul Of The Fire in the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind (yes i’m a fan of fantasy novels) that i’ve been neglecting but i’m more than a little intrigued. I feel like the entire online world has evolved without me and i need to catch up. I guess that’s what happens when you can’t be bothered with having internet service in your barracks room because you’re too lazy to pick up the phone and order the package from the provider.

I think i’ll give this twitter thing a whirl tomorrow if the whole book and reading and stuff doesn’t work out.

On a different note: Getting hit by small clumps of ice falling from the sky is not a cool thing to experience. I got pelted pretty damn bad in a hail storm while doing my rounds on the compound earlier tonight. A hail storm in Iraq! Whodhavethunkit? The weather has been steadily getting gloomier and gloomier as October in Iraq progresses. The first rains of fall poured down yesterday after a day of mild temperatures in the desert. The guys, excited at seeing the rain after months of insane triple digit temperatures, decided to do a little streaking by running laps around the compound just as our “special friends” were preping their vehicles for a night mission. It was a pretty hilarious sight and we all got a good laugh out of it. I’ve got video of that night but i i’m not going to upload it since it’s not exactly G rated material and i don’t know who reads my stuff. I wouldn’t want to be blamed for deflowering the virgin eyes of some 6 year old who happens upon this site (unlikely as it may seem). By the way, if you are a 6 year old and you’re reading my blog, here’s some friendly advice for you. Leave the goddam Trix rabbit alone or i will bite your fucking face off! (i kid). Perhaps down the road when this tour is done and i’m sitting infront of my computer back in the states bored out of my mind, maybe i’ll go through my video files and upload it to youtube or Twitter for all the world to see. Maybe. It just depends on my mood.

That’s all for now. Tweet tweet.

- Jay

October 26, 2008 | Filed Under General | Leave a Comment 

My kung fu is dope yo!

I want to get that tattooed on the back of my neck. It would either be a great conversation starter at a social event or an opportunity to get my ass handed to me by Chuck Norris. I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure then huh?

Earlier this morning up in the guard tower, i watched some dude wipeout on his bike during typical Iraqi rush-hour traffic. I roflmao’ed for a good 10 minutes till i nearly shit myself with the effort of trying to contain it and maintain my military bearing but failed miserably. I couldn’t help it. He looked okay though for a dude who just wrecked his motorcycle albeit a little banged up and extremely embarassed. After i painfully managed to regain some composure, i had to order him in broken Arabic to move his broke motorcycle further down the road away from the front of our outpost because he couldn’t be parked on the shoulder. No civilian vehicle was allowed to for any reason, lest they want to get shot at by U.S Army grunts manning the guard towers. We protect our crib fiercely homey! Werd. Anyway, he did not at all look happy with me and gave me the crazy eye while animatedly waving his hands about in clear frustration at my order all the while cussing me out in rapid Arabic, which made me bust out lol’ing again. I did feel a slight twinge of guilt for being an asshole to the poor guy as i watched him painfully limp away while pushing his wrecked motorcycle along. Ok, maybe not but that’s okay. Karma is a painful bitch and i will get what’s coming in due course. Till then i can relive the hilarious moment in my head and go to bed tonight satisfied that i can still proudly say, “i’ve never wiped out on a motorcycle in Iraq during rush hour traffic right infront of an American outpost before.” That and “Chuck Norris doesn’t want to fight me because my kung fu is dope yo!“

- Jay

October 23, 2008 | Filed Under General, Iraq, Random | Leave a Comment 

Somebody slashed our football

We suspect the Iraqi Police SWAT slashed our football today. I suppose it was in retaliation to all the trash talking we’ve been giving them ever since one of their own shot himself in the foot during reflexive fire drills yesterday. Ready. Up. Bang Bang. Down. BANG. OUCH!! Funniest shit i’ve seen in awhile. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. I know its a little effed up to be laughing at somebody else’s painful expense but it was pretty darn hilarious to witness. I wish i could’ve gotten it on camera. Its just one of those moments where you’d have to be there to appreciate the hilarity of it all. Ahh… i love working with these guys… some days. On other days, i just feel like punching them in the kidneys… like today when we woke up and discovered our precious football had been punctured by a knife’s blade. So uncool. What Would Allah Do?

People should really learn to take a joke.

-Jay

October 20, 2008 | Filed Under Iraq | Leave a Comment 

The Iraq/U.S pact

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Thousands of followers of anti-American cleric Moqtada al-Sadr took to the streets on Saturday in a demonstration against a pact that would allow U.S. forces to stay in Iraq for three more years. Read more here.

Sweet. So i guess i have a deployment or two guaranteed in the next 3 years. In case you don’t know who Muqtada al-sadr is, he’s been one of the biggest thorns in America’s side ever since Saddam’s execution. A theologian, political leader and commander of the militia army the Mahdi Army, he commands a great deal of influence in Iraq despite not holding an official seat in the Iraqi government. He envisions a Shi‘a-dominated government and many Iraqis respect his vision because they see in him a symbol of resistance to foreign occupation even though he is widely known to be a puppet for Iran in achieving political influence in the country.

Though the pact guarantees a definite withdrawal of U.S troops by the end of 2011, there are controversial stipulations alluding to American service members who commited serious crimes against Iraqis whilst off duty, that they be tried by Iraqi courts. I can already see stiff opposition coming from servicemembers, myself included, against this particular accord. Hell if it were one of my guys being faced with the possibility of being tried by an Iraqi court, i’d do whatever it would take to prevent that regardless of the nature of his crime. Yes, what he did was wrong but i’d rather he be tried by a military court martial under UCMJ than be subject to prosecution by Iraqis. Though the accord doesn’t state that the soldier on trial, if found guilty of his crimes, would spend time in an Iraqi prison, it’s the principle that matters. As an American, i steadfastly refuse to recognize any Iraqi that would try to pass judgement on me. Likewise to Afghanis. Fuck that shit! Why don’t they fly cockmaster Bush out here and see how much he would like being judged by a people that have always been an enemy to the red, white and blue. We’ve sacrificed enough in waging an illegitimate war, in a country that would rather rot under her own corruption and foul governance than take steps to significantly improving herself. The least our government could do is give these servicemembers the benefit of being tried by Americans.

I digress.

- Jay

October 19, 2008 | Filed Under Army, Iraq | Leave a Comment 

I see you

Silly insurgents! You should know better than to try to shadily record the movements of American convoys to and from the FOB. We are watching you watching us mofos. lol. These fuckers never learn. I guess they don’t realize that we can do a little counter surveillance of our own. And maybe a little car tailing… from the air. lol It’ll be soon time to send some more sorry wannabe jihadists to meet the mighty Allah. Sorry bro, but there’ll be no virgins waiting for you in my paradise. Just a whole lot of hurt and a shit ton of disgrace served compliments of the U.S infantry.

So i’m steadily running out of cowboy killas again. I’m down to my last carton of Reds as of yesternight. I certainly hope my next care package gets here soon cos I could definitely use with a much needed replenishment of my cigarette stock. I don’t think i smoke alot. I mean, i only smoke a half pack a day so that’s nothing compared to these other guys that smoke a whole pack on a four hour guard shift. But then again, unlike my Joes, i don’t spend 4 mindless hours on the guard tower or at a sniper’s nest with nothing better to do than scan the surrounding area for suspicious activity and puff on cancer sticks. I think if i was pulled off SOG duty and made to pull guard, maybe i too would be going through a pack or two a day. Fuck it. What do i care? I can still run a 12 minute, 2 mile pace pretty easy. Yes i do PT in the desert. It builds character.

It never ceases to amaze me just how much fun bored soldiers can get into especially out in the middle of the desert. I wish i could record some of the everyday conversations we have out here. The shit we talk about is enough to drop a whore down on her knees in… no not that position… but in prayer. lol. Any combat tested Grunt can atest to this. You get bored enough, you start thinking WAYYYY outside the box about the most random, retarded, gruesome, racial, sexual, disgusting thing that your mind can imagine. Group a bunch of similarly bored, like-minded, alcohol abstained, Grunts together and you get a reflection of a sinner’s hell on earth complete with hellfire-esque heat and no cable tv. If only you could hear our convo now. And to think we’re doing all this sober. lol

- Jay

October 16, 2008 | Filed Under Army, Iraq, Life | Leave a Comment 

A tragic case of friendly fire

The following is recently released frontline footage taken from the helmet cam of SFC. Jack Robison which shows what really happened Dec. 4 2006 in Ramadi, Iraq where 2 soldiers (PFC. Albert Nelson and PFC. Roger Suarez-Gonzalez) both with 2nd Platoon, D Company, 1st Battalion, 9th Infantry, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division were killed when they were fired upon by U.S tanks in a horrific case of friendly fire. The video shown (a 12 minute edited version) begins immediately before the shell’s impact. It records the explosion, the effort to help the wounded (in bloody detail) and long patches of conversation in which the soldiers present describe how they were shot at by an American tank. The incident was apparently covered up by the military citing that an enemy mortar attack had instead killed the 2 soldiers. More on the coverup here. Warning: Contains graphic violence and profanity.

It is very unfortunate that friendly fire is an inevitable consequence of warfare. RIP to all that have paid the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of this nation.

-Jay

October 14, 2008 | Filed Under Army | Leave a Comment